


Five Hundred Twenty-five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

by revenblue



Series: [collection] but you keep spinning 'round me just the same (Perryshmirtz) [68]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Accidental Relationship, Ambiguous Species, Developing Relationship, Fluff, M/M, POV Third Person Omniscient, Time Skips, two dorks who don't realise they're dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 13:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18074063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revenblue/pseuds/revenblue
Summary: How do you measure, measure a year?





	Five Hundred Twenty-five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

**Author's Note:**

> Late entry for Valentine's Day, whoops. Merry Christmas.

They met in spring.

A traditional agent-nemesis meeting may not have been the most exciting meeting but it worked. Oh, how it worked. Even from their first fight, they both knew this would be something special.

* * *

Before long, their clashes resounded through the halls of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated on a regular basis. The eternal battle of Good versus Evil played out across the city, day after day, ending always in Evil's defeat.

"Behold!" Heinz would say, and Perry would behold.

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" Heinz would say, and Perry would smile.

* * *

"I promise to hurt you in the right way," Heinz said, and Perry believed him.

* * *

By midsummer, they'd found a comfortable rhythm, an easy balance between their nemesisship and their burgeoning friendship. Nemeses, until the last echoes of the usual "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" died away and Perry prepared for his usual departure. Off the clock.

"Hey, did you want to catch a movie together this weekend? It'll be my treat," Heinz said, and Perry smiled.

Yes, he'd like that very much.

* * *

No matter how often it happened, Perry doubted he'd ever get used to the drop in his stomach whenever his fool of a nemesis was in danger again.

* * *

They met in Drusselstein, one day, Perry sent to investigate Heinz's return. What he found was a man struggling to hold himself together.

Business was set aside that day, as it had been so many others. What Heinz needed wasn't a nemesis, but a friend, and who else but Perry could fill that role?

"Hold my hand, Perry the Platypus? I'm scared," Heinz said, and Perry did without question.

* * *

After that, their hands met often. Sometimes in battle, other times as reassurance, always cherished. Simple touches that meant everything.

* * *

They argued, occasionally, Perry's reticence clashing against Heinz's agonised loneliness, hurting them both in ways they wished they hadn't.

"You are appreciated," Heinz said, and Perry heard it for the apology it was.

It wasn't enough to heal the still-bleeding wounds, they both knew without saying. Something more needed to be said. And it was.

 _I trust you_ , Perry said, in taking Heinz's offered hand.

 _I have faith in you_ , Perry said, in pulling the jetpack's straps tight.

 _I'm proud of you,_ Perry said, in pointing Heinz's finger back at him.

* * *

Summer ended, and with it their formal nemesisship.

And yet, the routine they'd both grown so used to continued to shape their lives as they moved into new roles, albeit set a few hours earlier than it had been. A fact with which Perry in particular was less than fond.

It was for the better, he decided, smiling fondly into his tea as he watched Heinz successfully wrangle a whole class of unruly teenagers. He'd put up with a thousand too-early mornings to see the man he still thought of as his nemesis monologuing so passionately.

* * *

Halloween came, and with it the usual hordes of screaming children demanding candy. Heinz and Perry walked among them, following Norm's erratic yet enthusiastic path, their fingers intertwined without thinking.

"You know, Vanessa never wanted me to _supervise_ ," Heinz said idly, and Perry squeezed his hand.

There was a reason, Perry knew. One he'd done his best to temper, placing himself between father and daughter, thwarting his nemesis's misguided efforts at demonstrating his clear affection.

The disdain towards his son too, he remembered. Hard to believe only a few short months ago Heinz had treated Norm as no more than spare parts.

An evening of laughter turned into a night of shrieks back at the still-unrenamed Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Heinz having invited Perry to watch horror movies with him after Norm went to sleep. A night that ended exactly how they both knew it would, with Heinz curled up in his nemesis's lap, face buried in his shoulder.

* * *

Winter arrived, and with it the snow, blanketing the city.

Perry arrived to Heinz's apartment for the first of their movie nights since the snow had fallen, only to receive a ball of it to his face. Narrowing his eyes, he saw the culprit: his unruly nemesis.

And the chase began.

* * *

One day, Heinz opened his door to find his nemesis, lugging a box of the holiday decorations he'd always wanted to share with someone. And share they did, falling into place beside each other as easily as if they'd done it for years.

"Why do people use _mistletoe_ as decoration anyway? I thought it was poisonous. Back in Gimmelshtump-" Heinz said, and Perry quietly put it back in the box.

Night fell as they worked, until at long last, it was done.

They stood together to admire the end result, the festive decorations covering every formerly-bare surface of the apartment, Perry grinning in a way Heinz had never seen before. A way he liked, he thought to himself as he squeezed the hand suddenly always intertwined with his.

* * *

Christmas came, and with it a mutual exchanging of gifts, undiscussed yet welcome.

* * *

A week later, standing together on the balcony of City Hall for the annual New Years celebration, their hands met in what had long since become custom for the two of them.

"Happy new year, Perry the Platypus," Heinz said, and Perry looked up at him.

Warm brown eyes met deep blue, eyes they'd both grown so fond of. As one, they leaned in, mouths meeting for the first time as fireworks burst across the sky to welcome the year.

* * *

Everything and nothing changed after that, neither of them minding the loss of the last physical barrier they'd put between them.

* * *

Valentine's Day approached, storefronts filled with red and pink, and the sight set Heinz on edge. He'd always hated this time of year. The happiness everyone but him seemed to feel, the expensive gifts, the last minute scramble to find a date so he could pretend he wasn't a failure of a husband...

This year, he'd decided, he wouldn't bother.

"Did you want to come over for dinner tomorrow, Perry the Platypus? I mean, you're always such good _company_ , we can put on one of those sappy romcoms you like so much and-" Heinz said, and Perry kissed him quiet.

* * *

Spring came, again, and with it their nemeversary, celebrated together in the place where it all began: Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, still unchanged, the way the two of them weren't.

"Perry the Platypus," Heinz said, and Perry paused their movie.

Over the last year, they'd come to understand each other, the things they said and the things they couldn't. Today, Heinz worried at his lip, hands shoved deep in his pockets in a show of casualness Perry could see through by now.

"What _are_ we?"

All Heinz got in response was a raised eyebrow. To Perry, the answer was clear: they were nemeses. They would always be nemeses. What else _could_ they be?

Heinz slumped back, a frown tugging at his lips. "I know _that_! It's just. Is this, you know, are we dating?"

Hearing the unspoken worries behind the words, Perry stepped closer, tugging one of Heinz's large hands free to hold in both of his. If it would make his nemesis happy, then yes, he would call this dating. But only if it brought a smile to Heinz's face.

"I... I don't know what I want," Heinz said, looking down at their joined hands. "I'm not used to this, you know?"

Perry nodded. He'd gathered as much, from all the proclaimed monologues and whispered secrets his nemesis had shared with him, every tale another exposed wound in need of healing. Squeezing Heinz's hand again, he turned it over, tracing fingertips across the broad palm.

Exhaling softly, Heinz laid his other hand atop Perry's. "But I'm willing to try," he added. _Because I trust you_ , they both knew he couldn't say.

Then again, they'd never needed _words_ to understand each other.

So when Perry set a hand on Heinz's jaw and pulled him into a gentle kiss, there was no mistaking it as anything less than a _I love you_.

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary come from [Seasons Of Life](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsj15wPpjLY) from RENT, one of the few things I know I'll regret about this fic (it's an earworm and a half, that one).
> 
> Other regrets include the need to ignore Happy New Year to make this narrative work (it's up there in the list of Best Episodes), and the need to acknowledge northern hemisphere seasons (the ubiquity of which has always left me feeling Other).
> 
> AND THE FACT I NEARLY FORGOT TO INCLUDE VALENTINE'S DAY IN THIS FIC AT ALL. WHAT AN OVERSIGHT, RIGHT?
> 
> Come join me in my [Perryshmirtz server](https://discord.gg/eEhRMq3) on Discord~


End file.
